Sukannyaa Lahon
Youth facilitator, Samjho Toh, Pravah
Creating Safe Spaces For Interfaith Friendships
“I am a facilitator and currently lead youth programmes to build agency and capacities of youth. I completed my M.A. from TISS, Guwahati in Sociology and Social Anthropology and graduation in Economics and joined Pravah, an N.G.O. in Delhi. I'm originally from Guwahati, Assam, and belong to an area where the dominant population is Bangladeshi immigrants. Most of my friends were immigrants, Muslims, and I’ve grown up with conversations around illegal immigration, integration and communal harmony.”
Sukannyaa, while working and interacting with the youth of the country, saw a common thread of frustration amongst them. She also felt that the culture of interacting with someone from a different reality was missing.
“Many young people voiced their frustration at what was happening in the country or the fact that their opinion wasn’t being validated in their home, with friends or family. So they constantly felt the need to prove their point right. As an organisation working with young people, we realised that we have a responsibility to respond to what's happening in the country and create a space for young people to process the changing scenario and respond to it. We created a programme called ‘Samjho Toh' ( which means ‘try to understand’), initiated jointly by Pravah, VartaLeap and ComMutiny - the Youth Collective , to bring back the culture of dialogue so that we can co-exist as a community despite our differences. We weren't trying to change anybody’s opinion. We just wanted people from different perspectives to come together and listen to each other, and build the capacity of deep dialoguing. These were not just weekly sessions but an experiential journey which threw them into real time tasks. From visiting different places of worship to having a conversation with someone they disagreed with, we gave them tasks that challenged their stories and beliefs around religion, culture and politics. We divided them into pairs- giving each one a buddy from a background different from theirs. People with liberal views were paired with those who were conservative in their thinking. Initially, they found it difficult to even converse and empathise with each other. But since they had to engage constantly to carry out the tasks, they realised how their past experiences and surroundings had shaped their thinking and lack of exposure sometimes can limit people’s worldview… Slowly, they started opening up to each other and ended up being good friends.”
Sukannyaa shares some examples of how deep dialogue helped build bridges between people.
“In the initial few sessions, we realised that people were scared and were not sharing their true feelings.Therefore, in the subsequent session we picked up topics that would really push them to share their actual unabashed perspectives. In a conversation around Kashmir and the abrogation of article 370, one participant was all for the ‘occupation’ while another participant from Kashmir shared about how he’d lost family and friends to the war because of the violence committed by the Indian armed forces, and his disappointment over his friends and family being labelled as ‘terrorists’. On hearing this side of the story, the boy, who supported the occupation, realised how ill-informed he was and that he had formed an opinion on the basis of solely what his relatives had told him. And that was a turning point for the entire group. This realisation that one needs to explore and know more to form an opinion. Another participant, Prateek had shared in group discussions, how it is unfair to conclude that only the Muslim community in India is facing violence. He believed that the narrative of Muslims being targeted in India has been exaggerated, while equal violence experienced by other communities, like Hindus, is overlooked. In response, Arfa, another participant, shared her experience of growing up as a minority in the country and witnessing the North East Delhi Pogrom. She shared her own story of how she and many others protested against NRC-CAA-NPR, and got beaten up and targeted by the police and the RSS goons because of their ‘religious identity’, despite not doing anything unconstitutional. In another session, the group also discussed how the pandemic also took a communal turn and people of the Muslim community were blamed for spreading the virus, facing severe religious discrimination of a sinister kind. They saw a video of a vegetable vendor being asked of his identity and ID card, to check his religion and the society members discussing how they will not allow Muslim vendors to enter the gates of the society. That's when this boy, Prateek stood up and said to Arfa, “I finally understand why you feel threatened in the country as a Muslim and I want you to know that I am here for you and if you feel unsafe, I will stand with you. ” The two have since become great friends, have visited each other's homes, and talk regularly, keeping up even during the lockdown.”
These young people questioned their own ‘stories’ that they had grown up believing, about religion, politics and equality. Armed with empathy, they were able to build deep friendships in these polarised times.
Another participant, Sarita (name changed), challenged her perspective about Kuldeep (name changed), who belonged to a family with a strong association with RSS. Confronted with her own bias, of being unable to talk to a ‘right-winger’, after listening to his story, she was able to see him and his individual experiences. Saumya, who always faced discord while discussing politics with her father, has started making efforts to have a dialogue with him now, so that a difference in political ideology doesn’t always end in heated arguments.
Samjho Toh was important for Sukannyaa as a facilitator because she has always struggled to dialogue with her own family.
“When I was asked to facilitate this programme , I agreed because I wanted to learn how to have difficult conversations with my own family. We have to understand that our parents have more lived experiences than us and sometimes it can be difficult for us to change them but we have to be patient. We may have experienced more interfaith experiences than them and that’s why we need to take them along and make them a part of these experiences. I wanted to tell my parents about my own interfaith friendships so that those could act as a turning point for them too.”
Sukanyaa believes that to reimagine a more inclusive future, one needs to create more spaces for interfaith exchange.
“The current narrative of hate and polarisation is beneficial for some communities and some people. Seeds of hate have been sown years ago strategically, so our response will also have to be smart. Changes at the institutional level are required but conversations need to happen in informal spaces as well. Conversations with friends and family must become a norm. Tools like visual and performing arts and sports must be used as they have the power to bring people together. Facilitating spaces where people can come and live each other’s reality is an important tool and we need more of it.”
Interviewed and Art Directed by Nida Ansari
Collage by Shreya Roy Chowdhury; Embroidery on collage by Singhleton